It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
