we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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