I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
