found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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