my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
