Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize