She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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