How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
