I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
