If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
