Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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