4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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