so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You took a bar mat shot.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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