i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
