it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
