Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
