it was like his penis was on wheels.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
