Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
