If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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