I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
my liver is dry heaving
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Randomize