Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Banned from zoo.
Again?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
