Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
