WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I think my fart just growled at me.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
