We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
