big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
