Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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