I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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