me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
