dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
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