The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Randomize
