I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
