You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Randomize
