Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
