Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
She's the barista slut.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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