I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
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