I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
