currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He's a Shit stain on my heart
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
