Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
