Already got asked if we're dating
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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