Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize