OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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