i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
