so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
