shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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