Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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