There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
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