I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
