Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
