I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
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