Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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