everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
