When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
