found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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