I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
