Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
She's the barista slut.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
