Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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