Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
