honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
