Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I woke up under a house in Key West
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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