Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
