No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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