____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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