I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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