i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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