Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
