How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
