I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
