Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
ttyl tear gas
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
