And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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