I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
