YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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